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A little late seeing as it’s 1:19 am but whatever. Close enough XD
5) How did your family take it when you came out/If you’re not out, why?
I am indeed out. Um lets see. At first my mother told me not to talk to anyone about it. So for like… 2 years I kept my mouth shut.
Now first off, let me say that in that time I told my best friend in the whole wide world, the guy I ended up dating and am now in love with and a girl I thought was a friend and ended up being ungodly two-faced while seeing a gender therapist.
My mother finally came and talked with my GT with me. She learned that none of this was her fault and started trying to… Deal with the idea of me becoming her son. She’s also encouraged and is going to try and assist me in paying for hormone treatment.
However she doesn’t seem to be trying at all to call me male or her son or even to not tell my dog to go to her “mother” when talking about me. I know it’s hard for her but fact is, it wrecks me emotionally. Its hard…
When I was finally “allowed” (though more that my sister wanted to and mom didn’t seem against it and… blahblahblah) to my sister expressed how hurt she was that she was the “last to know” all though my ex outed me to her before my mother. So she wasn’t but… Details. Whatever. My sister is trying a lot harder then my mother I think. She’s more open minded as well, age and all that has a lot to do with it I assume. She’s trying to work towards calling me Andi and using male pronouns and is really trying to accept the fact that I am her brother. She loves me, she made that clear and I understand that she’s known me for 23 years, it will take work for her to change these habits of wording. It actually nearly makes me cry to type this. I love my sister and I do wish her and I were closer. She’s my big sister, the person who I tried to be like when I didn’t know how to be a girl. She’s not always been nice to me, but we’re siblings and that happens but she loves me and I love her. I’d do anything for her and her sons and recently I’ve learned she would do the same for me. Maybe one day I’ll bother to show her this, because I don’t know that I’ve ever put into words how much I care about her and while I’m sure she knows how important she is to me she deserves to at least see that the words have been written down somewhere, even if I can never vocalize them right.
Anyways!
My father doesn’t know… I don’t care. This is a man that while physically in my life was never really emotionally. He’s always had a connection with my sister and, on several points, verbally abused me for things I’d been doing for years because my sister was around to visit and he was showing off for her. He always wanted to spend time with my male friends (yes, growing up all my friends were boys) and teach them things or encourage my sister. So frankly, no matter how much I try to write the man a letter telling him I’m trans and ect I can’t. I fell like he’s a stranger and I don’t care about writing a letter to a stranger. This is someone who every promise he made to me as a kid(you know, the ones that mean the most to you) he broke and every time he’s promised to call me he hasn’t. And when I’ve called him at the time he’s said he would call(okay so like after waiting for 20 min and figuring he forgot) he wont answer his phone. I’m sorry. I love him because he’s my father but I just don’t care enough to be the one to tell him. Someone else can.
So all in all? My mother kind of took it badly, but is starting to come around. My sister took it fantastically well and is a wonderful person. My father will find out when someone cares to tell him. The rest of my family? Is distant and will find out when the time comes. But right now the people nearest to me need to know and the rest can wait.
